Monthly Archives: January 2015

7 Best Gift Ideas for a New Mom

GiftWe’ve all been there, moms and childfree women alike.  You get the text message, the announcement, the phone call: So-and-so just had their baby!  You’re thrilled, of course, for your dear friend who is finally at the end of her pregnancy journey… And at the beginning of her lifetime one.

You want to celebrate with her, yet understand her need to withdraw temporarily from her public, to bond and care for this new human being.  Yet you still want to express your sincerest congratulations, share in her joy, and give her something she can use.

So – what to give?  More clothes for the baby?  A swaddling blanket?  Diapers?

Perhaps… Or perhaps something a bit more memorable.  Following is a list of the most memorable congratulatory gifts I received (or heard about) after having each of my two children.

1. Dinner at a nice restaurant.  With you, her friend.  Oh – she will fight you.  She will hem and haw, and lament at how she cannot possibly leave her infant yet for an adult meal away.  I’ve been there.  I had a friend who insisted that I shower, put on something other than sweats, and leave the house for a nice dinner away from my precious baby.  I didn’t want to.  I felt guilty about leaving.  I REALLY didn’t want to.  And as the hour drew nearer and nearer I began to panic about leaving my baby.  But, it was too late to cancel and she was on her way.  So I went.  And we sat.  And ordered a bottle of wine.  And ate.  And talked… A bit about the baby, but more about me and how I was doing.  And it was one of the most memorable gifts I was given.  I think we often neglect to remember the mother once the baby is born; the celebrated vessel of life is suddenly delegated to the role of a walking feeder/pooper-scooper.  Add a good dose of post-partum hormones to that mix and it is a recipe for complete deflation.  So giving your girl friend the gift of focus on her, the gift of your time, the gift of reminding her that she is an individual in addition to being a mom – is in my opinion one of the kindest things you can do.

2. A few hours away.  Trust me, your girl friend is drowning.  She is a walking zombie who has lost all track of day and time.  She may or may not let you know this (for some reason, our society dictates that we must be cheerfully doing it all with a smile plastered across our exhausted faces).  But know that she is temporarily lost in the abyss of insanity that occurs right after a new baby is born.  She won’t ask for your help.  But what if you just offered it?  Not the vague “call me if you need anything”… But a real, tangible offer of help.  Something along the lines of, “I am coming over this Wednesday at noon and will be staying with the baby until 5pm.  I will not be talked out of it and you cannot keep me from this precious baby [play on her emotions, folks!] I encourage you to go out and do whatever it is you want to do.  Go to the gym, take a walk, go to the spa, go the movies – heck, go to Target.  That time is yours and whether you stay or go out, I will be there.”  This type of an offer – the firmness and concrete-ness of it – will be something she never forgets.

3. A nap.  Same as above, your assertiveness will be critical.  But let your friend know that you will be coming over, taking the baby out (for a walk, to your house, etc). for, say, 2-4 hours so that she can simply sleep.  Blissful, uninterrupted, deep sleep.  Ask for the key so that you don’t have to disturb her when you return.  Reassure her that you will call or text the absolute second you have any questions about the baby.  Bring over a few of her favorite magazines, a few snacks, make her a cup of chamomile tea and honey, and send her to bed.  If you are an amazing friend (and who isn’t??), give her the night off completely.  Stay over, learn her feeding routine, and let her know that you will be the one to answer every cry, every diaper change, and every feed for an entire night.  The key here is to actually DO it too – within a timely manner so Mommy doesn’t wake.  Yes, I know, it is a night lost… But you will likely be rewarded with sobs of gratitude, and a rested and more rational girl friend.

4. Media gift certificate. For as busy as new moms are, there is a lot of down time too.  By “down”, I mean a baby laying down on Mommy while she breastfeeds, formula feeds, and rocks her to sleep.  And while a good portion of this time will be spent caressing the baby’s hair and gazing into her eyes, another portion will be spent not-scratching-that-itch, not-sneezing, and not-moving-a-muscle in a desperate attempt to not wake the baby.  This is the perfect time for Mommy to NOT Google, but instead to watch, read, or listen to something entertaining.  I highly recommend Amazon gift certificates here, folks.  Let her pick her poison – a movie, a book, a show, or music – and have at it.  Make sure you write clear instructions on the gift card, advising her that the gift must be used for some form of media entertainment for her and her alone.

5. A house cleaning/organizing. Chances are, your friend’s house looks like a tornado hit.  Keeping the house tidy is likely at the bottom of her priority list.  Even still, the mess is bothering her, contributing to her feelings of frazzle-ness, and just plain making it difficult to find anything.  Help a girl out!  Hire a housecleaning or organizing crew to come out and complete a one-time deep clean or organization.  Allow her to clear her head with a fresh and clean house.  Getting her to a point where it just needs to be maintained instead of deep cleaned will lighten her load and immediately eliminate some of her stress.

6. Food. You can never go wrong with food, but make it thoughtful.  If she is breastfeeding, make her something to assist with lactation (several cultures have lactation soups or dishes to help with this).  If she has a family of five, bring over a fully prepared meal for everyone.  Heat it up, set it out buffet style, and for an added bonus – clean up afterwards.  Bring a treat for the poor dog who likely hasn’t been fed in days.  Bring a bottle of your girl friend’s favorite wine.  Bring juice for the kids.  Paper plates, cups, and utensils – all the better.  If you’re not much of a chef, order your friend food.  There are multiple restaurants that cater, or you can simply send a pizza and breadsticks to her home – she will be just as happy.

7. A personal item to mark the occasion. Find your girl friend something for her that is special.  She will already be receiving flower arrangements, baby clothes, toys, rattles, and diapers.  While helpful, these types of gifts tend to blur together.  You’re looking to do something special, something that she will remember.  So get her something to celebrate her.  A pair of earrings (perhaps yielding the birthstone of her baby), an engraved locket, or a personalized bracelet.  A nice wallet or handbag (NOT baby bag) that she has been eyeing.  Steer away from clothing until her body has had the opportunity to get back to normal.  Think perfume or candles.  A nice robe.  Slippers.  A homemade quilt.  Tickets to see a favorite band or sports team.  A tablet if she is techie.  Anything that is for her, her comfort, or her enjoyment.

I think the overall theme here is to focus on your girl friend as your friend first, finding her something that lets her know she is still an individual, that you still love her for her, and that she is important just by being her (in addition to now being a mom).  Celebrate her.  Listen to her.  Support her.  She will be more grateful than you can imagine.

Moms, what were some of your most memorable gifts received after having a baby?

 

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Photos from a Toddler’s Perspective

After having children, I quickly learned that relying on pricey photo shoots and the gracious generosity of dear photographer friends was not practical to capture all the moments I wanted of my two babies.  So… I took up the hobby of Photography.  Hesitantly at first, but embracing it more and more as I continued to learn.  A couple books here, a new lens there, and a photographer friend’s advice to boot – and I am slowly but surely starting to improve.

This means practice.  Lots and lots of practice.  Pictures of everything.  Kids playing.  Kids sleeping.  Kids eating.  Kids crying.  Everything.  At these beginning stages, I rely on the theory that if I take 1000 pictures, at least 1 of them is bound to turn out.  I figure that my semi-obsession peaked once my toddler began carrying around a coaster, plastering it over his eyes, and yelling “SAY CHEEEEEEESSEEE!!” every 3-5 minutes.

Well.  We can’t let the poor guy walk around with a rubber coaster glued to his face.  So we talked Santa into bringing him a toy camera for Christmas (the VTech Kidizoom Camera).  A heck of a step up from a coaster, if you ask me.  (Really?  Kids’ cameras these days have memory, zoom, and a video recorder??  That’s better than my first 10 adult cameras).

Back to the point.  Our son now walks around with a kiddie camera glued to his face, constantly imploring us to “WAIT” while he counts to an arbitrary number (sometimes 3, sometimes 10, sometimes 17) before yelling “SAY CHEEEEESSEEE!!”

It finally dawned on me that we could actually download the pictures he was taking – and so I did.  And it has given me a glimpse into his world, these photos through the eyes of a toddler.

To begin, a few atmospheric shots.  Here is one of his kitchen – specifically the fridge and cupboard.

Kitchen, by Toddler

Kitchen, by Toddler

And another one, of the counter.

Counter, by Toddler

Counter, by Toddler

Now for a close-up.

Counter Close-Up, by Toddler

Counter Close-Up, by Toddler

And the floor is also very important.  Glad he captured this.

Floor, by Toddler

Floor, by Toddler

Don’t forget a perspective shot.  At dinner.

At Dinner Table, by Toddler

At Dinner Table, by Toddler

And he couldn’t forget the Christmas tree!

Christmas Tree, by Toddler

Christmas Tree, by Toddler

Now that he had better familiarized himself with the camera, he decided to move on to some live subjects.  First, the dog.

Dog, by Toddler

Dog, by Toddler

Then an artsy close up.

Dog Napping, by Toddler

Dog Napping, by Toddler

And finally, a pretty impressive head shot.  At eye level.

Dog Head Shot, by Toddler

Dog Head Shot, by Toddler

Not too shabby!  At this point, he was ready to tackle something a little more challenging – his brother.  A nice action shot, with professional-like off centering of his subject.

Brother, by Toddler

Brother, by Toddler

And finally on to his taller friends and family.  Notice the technique of cutting off the heads… To keep it interesting.

Friend, by Toddler

Friend, by Toddler

Daddy, by Toddler

Daddy, by Toddler

Mommy, by Toddler

Mommy, by Toddler

Mommy, by Toddler

Mommy, by Toddler

And here he captures the top half!

Daddy, by Toddler

Daddy, by Toddler

And finally, he is ready to bring all his experience together in the quintessential couple photo.

Mommy and Daddy, by Toddler

Mommy and Daddy, by Toddler

Mommy and Daddy, by Toddler

Mommy and Daddy, by Toddler

And let’s not forget the Selfie.

Selfie, by Toddler

Selfie, by Toddler

I clearly have a budding Annie Liebovitz on my hands.  I can only hope that I am able to nurture and encourage his talent despite my lack thereof.

In the Words of My Toddler

I am slowly finding that if I can navigate through the stubbornness, tantrums, and ever-increasing messes, one of the hidden joys of toddlerhood is listening to the things that come out of my little guy’s mouth.  Watching as he attempts to piece conclusions together has given us the comic relief so desperately needed at this stage.  A few recent gems:

Me: [Wearing mascara – a very rare occurrence]
Toddler: [Squinting up at me, head cocked] Mommy, what’s wrong with your eyes?  Why your eyes black?
Me: I put some makeup on for the Christmas party.
Toddler: [Thinking it over, and then suddenly the light bulb goes off] OH!  Mommy wants spooky eyes!  Spooky eyes like Halloween!  SPOOOOOKY!


Me:
[Cuddled up with toddler on the couch, fighting a cold]
Toddler: [Doing “projects”] Mommy, you’re not feeling well?
Me: I just have a little cold.
Toddler:
Do you want me and Daddy to make you a project to feel better?
Me: Why, sure!  That would be very nice.
Toddler: [In earnest] Daddy, Mommy is not feeling well.  We need to make her a kite so she can feel better.


Me:
[Pulling car out of the driveway with toddler buckled in his car seat]
Toddler: Mommy, go FASTER FASTER!  FAST FAST!  VROOM VROOM!
Me: [Annoyed] No, we don’t go faster in the car.  We drive carefully.  Who taught you that?
Toddler: Daddy said go FASTER but only when Mommy not in the car.


Me:
[Returning from public restroom at amusement park as husband leaves for his turn]
Toddler: [Excited] Mommy!  I ate a chocolate bar!
Me: What?  Where did you get a chocolate bar?  You know you’re not supposed to have candy in the morning.
Toddler: Daddy gave to me when Mommy go potty.  Daddy said, ‘Don’t tell Mommy’!!


Hubby:
[Talking to baby at dinner table] Are you all done now?  You’re finished with your milk?
Baby: [Laughs]
Me: [To baby] I think you enjoyed your dinner.  Are you all done?
Toddler: [Seriously, shaking his head] Mommy, Daddy, he can’t talk.  He is just a baby.  He can’t talk yet.


Toddler:
[At dinner table] Mommy, I don’t like this one.  I don’t want this one!
Me: What do you say if you don’t care for something?
Toddler: [Sighs] May I, I don’t want this one, please!


Me:
[Driving toddler home from preschool] I missed you today while you were gone.
Toddler: Everyone miss me when I am gone?  Everyone sad?
Me: Yes, we all miss you.  Even the dog!
Toddler: Yeah.  Everyone sad when I am gone.  Everyone get happy when I come home?
Me: Yes, we look forward to you coming home.
Toddler: Yeah.
Me: Do you miss us when you’re gone?
Toddler: No.  I want to see my friends.


Me:
[At dinner table] Did you have a nice nap?
Toddler: Yeah.  I had no dreams. [Pause, then seriously] I had a fart in bed.  I had two farts.  Just small farts.  No big farts.

New (Second) Favorite DHA Supplement

BottleWithout diving into a debate about breastfeeding vs. formula feeding (other posts cover some of my thoughts on this topic: Judgements: Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding and Encouraging Breastfeeding: How Far is Too Far?), suffice it to say that I have always had to supplement.  I was very proud that with baby #2 I was able to provide about 75% of his sustenance through breast milk through 9 months; however that means that I was still relying on formula for the remaining 25% and 3 months of the first year.

As such, it has always been critical to me to find the highest quality and most natural formula and supplements that I could.  And I was thrilled when after months of trial and error with baby #1, I finally found Nature’s One Baby’s Only Organic LactoRelief formula (try saying that 10 times quickly) paired with their DHA & ARA Fatty Acid supplement.  Finally something checked all the boxes: organic, natural (as possible), lactose free for sensitive tummies, and a DHA/ARA supplement that is egg derived via a water process – instead of being derived from algae and fungus and treated with hexane solvent, acid, and bleach (like the DHA/ARA found in all other commercially available infant formulas).

In fact, I was so pleased with the DHA/ARA supplement by Nature’s One that I continued to order it long after my eldest was off the bottle; I continue to give it to him to this day, mixed with his milk or yogurt.

So I was extremely disappointed to find the following message on Nature’s One’s website last night when trying to reorder:

Unfortunately, due to low demand and rising packaging/ingredient costs, Baby’s Only Essentials DHA & ARA Supplement will not be available for purchase going forward. Nature’s One made this difficult decision so that we can continue to focus our efforts on providing the best products possible while maintaining competitive prices.

That means that after our last two boxes, I am out – and will need a replacement as I definitely still want to supplement DHA for both children.  Fortunately, it appears that all Nature’s Only infant formulas remain in production; most notably, the Dairy formulation which includes their water-processed DHA/ARA.  Unfortunately, their LactoRelief formulation does not, at the moment, offer an option inclusive of DHA/ARA – so that leaves me trying to find an alternative.

After some research, I plan to switch to Nordic Naturals Children’s DHA Liquid.  I had always been reluctant to use cod liver oil due to concerns with mercury, so had previously steered away.  But in researching Nordic Naturals, I found that they surpass international standards for levels of mercury (< 0.1 ppm).  They additionally surpass international standards for other worrisome heavy metals such as lead, arsenic, and cadmium.  PCBs are concerning as well – and fortunately this product surpasses international standards (including standards under California’s Prop 65).  Most comforting is the fact that these statements are backed by third party – not Nordic Naturals – analysis.

But how are the fish sourced?  I was pleasantly surprised here as well.  Nordic Naturals maintains that their Arctic cod is wild-caught from Norwegian waters.  Furthermore, that their fishing practices align with the Norwegian fisheries management system to prevent overfishing; that they use responsible fishing gear to prevent the unintentional capture of other species; and that they use regulated line and net fishing methods to prevent damage to the seafloor and ecosystem.

I did have one final thought pop into my head that I wasn’t sure would be addressed on their site… And that was if there were ANY fish sourced from areas that may be impacted by the Fukushima nuclear power plant situation.  Lo and behold, Nordic Naturals does address this!  They indicate that since the initial incident in March 2011, they have been proactively testing their fish oil for any indication of radiation.  To date, they have never had a detectable result.

Sold.

I placed my first order this morning.  To be fair, it is definitely not the least expensive option.  Today’s discounted price was $37.41 for a 16-oz bottle on Amazon.  BUT the responsibility of this company along with their commitment to carefully testing, researching, and analyzing their products gives me the peace of mind necessary to make the purchase worth it.

The final test will be the taste.  I plan to hide it in milk, yogurt, or other “mushy” foods… But my two little critics will be the ultimate judge.  Will keep this post updated.