I’m a new mom. A brand-spanking-13-week-old new mom.
I’m also over 35. Or, as they say in the medical world, of “AMA” (Advanced Maternal Age). Nice, right? Given all the risks I was constantly reminded of during pregnancy, it sometimes feels amazing that I even got to this point.
But get there I did, and I’m now the proud mother of a beautiful baby boy. Who has ROCKED MY WORLD. Me. Of all people. The stubborn, independent, working “I am woman, hear my roar” household CEO (husband’s term) who debated for years whether to even have children.
And now I’m swimming in a pool of love and bliss, forever changed into a big ball of mush. Okay, okay, so maybe the hormones are still playing into all this, but creaky old pieces of my heart have definitely opened up in ways I could have never imagined.
At the same time, I’m completely lost. Like millions of first time mothers across the globe, I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m consistently terrified that some unintended slight on my part is going to irreparably damage my perfect son forever. Ridiculous, I know.
So I started researching. Reading everything I could get my hands on: books, articles, and yes, the web (sometimes Google is NOT your friend)! But everything seems geared towards the younger first-time mom. The mother in her 20s or early 30s who has her own unique set of challenges. What about the older first-time moms? Those of us who have a different set of challenges. Those of us who are accustomed to an adult life without children, who have established careers, who are surrounded by like-minded friends without children, etc? Not to mention those of us who had to live through 10 months of fear instilled into us by the medical community once becoming pregnant in the first place.
We do exist! I am proof of that. I have learned SO MUCH on this journey so far, and I have so much more to learn. So why not connect and share our learnings with each other? I would love to know that at least some of my borderline obsessive-compulsive research could help another mom facing similar challenges. Or perhaps someone has some tips for me. I need them!
Most of all, I want to document my experience. It’s been a wild ride thus far, and I can only imagine what the future holds. I am still the same stubborn and independent household CEO… Just now with a child in my arms. ROAR.